Hi, all!
So what have you been upto since New Year? I have been reading and trying to stick to my reading goals. Last year, I had barely pushed myself to overcome the reading slump. But this year, I am going to seriously do it. Because a writer must read, although those days of reading carefree, in abandon, are long gone.

I finished two books in 2020, both of which I had reviewed on Instagram and my Facebook Page. The first one is Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman. The other, which I completed two days ago, is When I Hit You or The Portrait of the Writer as A Young Wife by Meena Kandasamy. And I am glad I read them both.

I am not gonna drag for today’s post. The previous post on Self Confidence was long since it had the introductory part, too. If you are new here, do sign up on the blog by submitting your email in the subscribe column in the sidebar on your right. And checkout the previous post Writing Your Novel – The Primer – Part 1 if you have not read it, because you are going to need continuity for the topic.

So, the second ingredient in The Primer – Self-Doubt.

What is self-doubt? I don’t intend to define it in formal terms. It is easier to clarify it through the monologues every writer has had at some point of time.

The scenarios go like this, to bring up a few:

• “I can’t do this.”

You know you can, if you have already begun something.

• “I’m not good enough."

No one is, in the beginning. It comes with practice. Not being good enough even after writing a lot is worrisome, but in the beginning, it is just natural.

• “Who would want to read me?”

Does it matter, if writing is what you want to do? Also, there is always someone who is going to read it if you publish it someway. There is always someone who is going to love what you wrote, relate to it and feel something by those words.

• “My writing style is dumb/poor/boring/flat/simply bad.”

You can always edit and rewrite. And read lots because that is indeed what gives you the tools to write.

• “I have written a book, but I don’t want people to read it.

It’s okay and it is upto you to decide whether you want people to read it or not, but you still wrote a book. That was brave.

• “I am scared to publish it.”

Why though? Is it because of the next two points?

• “I’m scared of judgements.”
  

Know that you cannot please everyone. The job of a writer is to write, not to please people. There’s no shortcut around being judged. It is better to be judged for our writing than to be judged for no reason, because people judge anyway.

• “I’m scared of criticism.”

It is inevitable in writing life. The only way is to temper yourself and be ready to face it. Writing is, after all, a thing that takes courage to do. Not to mention how criticism helps to write better and to up your game. Just make sure you learn how to filter criticism coming your way and take only constructive ones to heart. People can be harsh in passing judgements and opinions, but remind yourself they are just words and you are a writer who would put words to better use than negative and toxic people who wants to see you 'not writing. Constructive criticism will be kind and genuine, not boastful, but in the tone of a suggestion rather than blatant demeaning. It will also put the changes your piece of writing needs at your disposal. Constructive critics will not be imperative or threatening you emotionally. Trust your gut and the vibes you get.

• “My story is not interesting, I’m afraid.”
  

Only you hold the key to making it interesting. Explore new possibilities. Read widely so that you know what could be clichéd and what makes high concept and fresh stories. Talk with other writers or readers – it will expand the horizons of your perspectives and perceptions. Write what you are afraid of, write outside your comfort zone – that ensures original and interesting details for sure (*wink and wicked grin*). Avoid writing the obvious and the unnecessary – this is simply the best way to make your story interesting. Beta-readers or critics will point them out for you if you are blind to them.

• “I’m not sure how good it is.”

Get it read by trusted, positive and well-read friends or readers who will give you constructive criticism and be honest with you. This is essential when you decide to be a writer for real. I have mentioned the importance of a dependable feedback team in my previous post.

• “I find more things to fix every time I open it.”

That’s good news to an extent. If you can better your manuscript, do it. Rewrite or edit as many times as you please, until you are satisfied. Albeit, you need to know when to stop because it could go on forever and your book might remain hidden for the rest of your life. That’s another instance where critique readings can be useful.

• “I’m stuck in writing, the story is not moving forward.”

This could arise in many situations.

1. You did not have a clear plot or story-line in your mind when you began: Take a notebook or a fresh document. Fill in your story’s synopsis – a rough outline with the main conflict and the direction the story goes, including the character names, like a book blurb to provoke your own curiosity. Map out stuffs so that you develop clarity about your project.
   
2. You don’t find the theme or story as interesting as you did in the beginning: Find out if you really care about this story you began. If yes, try changing something in it – the setting, the character names, the beginning, the point-of-view or the narrator (first, second or third person). If no is your answer, find a story you care about to write – this is crucial.
3. You find the topics hard to write about: Thoroughly research and find information and details that you need to develop the story. Research will also be a prompt, because all of a sudden you might find yourself describing places and situations and that is you writing!
   

If none of the above are reasons for getting stuck, close that file or put away that manuscript. Take a book to read. Go on a trip. Bake something. Give yourself some edible treat. And watch movies – yes, it is such a great way to exercise your imagination, to bring out storytelling. Do another creative hobby if there is anything else you are good at. I paint when I’m brain-fagged, it helps immensely to unwind.

Some people have tons of stories in their head, and they ask me: “How do we begin?”
My answer is: Try writing.

Did you just think: “That’s a dumb answer that escapes the actual question.”?
I know. Only that it is not. Because, before writing the story in your mind, you have to find a few things about yourself, like:

• Do you have the gift of writing in you?
  
• Do you have a burning passion and urge to write?
  
• Do you have the patience to pursue writing?
• Do you have enough tools like language, style, unique voice, with you to write?
• Do you feel good when you write?
• Do you feel confident or scared when you write?

And these questions can be answered only if you “Try Writing.”

So, wrapping it up on self-doubt with a note on it:

Self-doubt is a tricky thing. Like salt is in a curry. Like self-confidence is – on the other side of the coin. Too much self-doubt will barricade your very essence as a writer – your writing will never see the world and vice versa. No self-doubt will lead to over-confidence, which is pretty suicidal too. Because, you will not be able to improve or judge your own writing, which is a dangerous state to be in.

Self-doubt is nourishing in little quantities. In healthy portions, it makes you:

• rethink your words and thoughts
• makes you cross-examine your work
• helps you to judge your writing in a healthy way
• tells you when you need to better it
• make you open to constructive criticism and honest feedback, both staples to writing life.

The key is to balance self-confidence and self-doubt. Believe in yourself but at the same believe in your humanness.

When Self-Doubt tells you: “You are not perfect and you will make mistakes, you are not good enough.”, flip the coin and let Self-Confidence come up and tell you: “You are human, you are bound to make mistakes and you are not perfect in everything, but that’s okay. If you are not good enough, practicing will make you better and that is enough as long as you keep striving.” Apply this balance throughout your doubts and you are good to go.
 
So what are other instances of self-doubt in you as a writer? What monologues other than the ones I have listed do you hear from yourself everyday? How do you fight self-doubt and how do you balance it? Let me know. :)

Love and Peace, Sana
Reading now: All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr (Winner of Pulitzer Prize for fiction 2015)

Hope your Christmas holidays went well and that you are all looking forward to a 2020 with fresh hope and realistic and practical resolutions. As promised, although not as early, I’m here to begin talking about how to begin writing your novel.

Oftentimes, I get messages from aspiring writers telling me that they have an idea for a book, a story to tell, a novel to write, but have no idea where to begin or how. This is, I suppose, a dilemma every writer faces when he or she embarks on their journey to authorship. Your concern is genuine and real. It is not easy to begin. You will have a hundred little ideas of how to begin your book but sometimes, when you are confronted by the blank page, your mind and muse black out on you.

So today, let’s put a primer to the canvas of the writing journey.

My humble disclaimer: This series is not a step by step tutorial on how to start writing your book. This is a sort of breaking down the art for you as an author, so that you know the inside dynamics of the writing process from an author’s perspective, seasoned with what has worked for me (which may or may not work for you), and paving a path to kick-starting your work.

This post will tell you what the primer to writing a book constitutes. It has nothing to do with the story in your dreams, nor with writing techniques – we are not there yet.
But it has everything to do with you – as a creative person and as a writer. So here we go!

There are 4 components required to prime your mind with, mixed in a balanced quantity, to be able to take up, stick to and see the finishing line of the process called ‘Writing A Novel’. They are:

1. Self-Confidence
2. Self-Doubt
3. Dissociation / Compartmentalizing
4. Prioritize / Exercise

Today, I will elaborate on the first in the list – Self Confidence.

Nothing worth your time and effort can be done without self-confidence. This goes for every field of work. If you are not going to believe that you can do it, you are not going to do it. A very simple derivation. And in the field of art, the importance surpasses any other, because art is simply not something a degree or doctorate will equip you for. Writing is entirely an inside process before it is displayed. Without self-confidence, you are going to have a hard time trying to write, despite having a hundred wonderful ideas.

So how do you know that you lack confidence? Let me break the symptoms down for you.

• You are unable to hold together an idea.
• You are afraid that you cannot bring your idea out in words.
• You begin writing but end up not writing anything that advances a narrative.
• You write, but constantly get blocked by an inner voice telling you it is crappy.
• You start and stop writing on many different ideas and fail to develop one.
• You fear exploring a theme or story just because you do not know facts needed to enhance it.
• You write a little and then the blank pages intimidate you.
• You write a lot, but fear showing it to anybody lest they say it is bad.
• You write a lot, but never reach the end because your belief in your story falters.
• You write a whole book but don’t venture out to get it read or published.
• You write a whole book and tell people that you have, but when someone asks to read it, you run.

Chances are you might relate to one of the above groups, although this is not the end of the list. There is another group of people who are talented and confident but lazy to take the ordeal of writing a book – this post is not for them, because to write, you definitely have to sign up for hard work. It is nothing less than hard work, but something worth the sweat and the persistence.

So, back to self-confidence: how do you nail it? How do you wade through the swamp called ‘lack of self-confidence’?

Some are born and grown confident. Some are naturally smart and self-confidence is just second nature to them. When I look back to the days when I had just begun writing books – which would be at the age of 14, when I wrote my first novel, obviously dumb and cheesy, and cringe-worthy – I have to admit that I did not lack confidence. I wanted to be an author right from that age. But that confidence stemmed from not knowing enough, as I realized later. Which is why I am eligible to talk about nailing confidence now. Someone who has not gone through a lack of confidence at some point cannot talk about it. And I have been there later.

Technically, in creativity, self-confidence is undermined by self-doubt about which we will talk in the next post. It is a no-brainer that self-confidence and self-doubt are inversely proportional. And the idea is to strike a balance between the two.

But these are immeasurable stuffs. I hear you. How are immeasurable things measured or balanced? The equation allows you to do it. Inversely proportional variables move in opposite directions, in terms of quantity. So if you boost your self-confidence, self-doubt gradually depletes. Or if you work on reducing self-doubt, self-confidence will grow and branch out.

Self-doubt needs a whole new post for itself. So, here are a few tips to boost your self-confidence.

• The more you are certain about something, the more you are confident in that matter. And certainty comes from knowledge. Do your homework before or during writing. Research, read and explore. Write what you know – this is an age-old advice from pros and no less important. However, I am all in for exploring more than I know and getting out of my comfort zone, so ‘know what you want to write’ also works. Get familiar with the theme you want to write on. Gather resources from books, the internet, movies or social networks. Organize your knowledge somewhere – it could be a notebook, your brain or your computer. Factual accuracy is important even in fiction, if you are using facts. Get them right.
  

• Practice consistency and focus. This is something we will talk about in the end of The Primer series. But, just so you know, this is necessary to boost self-confidence. The more you do something, the defter you are with it and your brain gets accustomed to it. Even if you are not ready to announce to the world that you are a novelist, keeping at the task will help you to get used to the task.

• Get organized. And this is not just for information or facts you need to use in your story. But in your thoughts and actions as well. Outlining is not for all, but for starters, outlining helps to stay focused. Some authors outline neatly, keeping notes and lists of every detail in a story. This will be a skeleton that one can simply fill in with details. Some authors like Stephen King believe in letting the characters live out the story, or take you through their adventures – that is an amazingly entertaining way to write. But if you fear getting carried away and digressing and ending up not ending a story, you should perhaps stick to outlining first.

• The least you can do in the department of outlining is to write a synopsis for your story in mind first. It will put the objective of your story in focus, raise the questions you want to evoke in the reader and give you an overall idea about where the story must head to. The most you can do is make a chapter-wise outline, putting the advancements in each chapter in a few lines. You should choose your process. Once the map is laid, travelling is not so tough.